Profile Tips... Just for Women
By Randy B. Hecht
Back in the old days (the mid to late 1990s), online dating was a piece of cake for women. Being a woman on an online dating site was like being a woman in The Shetland Isles: You had goods that were scarce, and that instantly made you a desirable commodity.
These days, though, the competition for attention is a lot tougher. but you can still have an edge if you know how to present yourself and the qualities that make you special.
What generates the kinds of responses you want to get from the kinds of dates you want to meet? Consider these eight tips for creating a more powerful profile:
1. Put heart in your headline. Say something sexy, sassy or just plain funny to grab attention immediately. "Looking for love" doesn't distinguish you from every other person using the service. Words like "lonely" make you sound depressed, needy or some other unflattering thing that isn't likely to spark anyone's interest. To make an instant and positive impression, make your headline the online equivalent of a "come-hither" look.
2. Photos, photos and more photos. If you're looking for a guy, remember how visual they are. Post photos that are clear, focused on you (no group shots, and no pictures of you being cuddled by someone else!) and current. Include a selection that offers at least one good look at your face and, if you've got one, a full-body shot. And photos that show you engaged in favorite activities can help attract someone who shares your interest.
3. Brag a little.
Don't be afraid to refer to your best attribute, both the physical (sparkling eyes, terrific smile, appealing curves) and all the rest (professional status, athletic ability, and intellect, etc.). Remember, you're trying to stand out from the pack, so speak up about what makes you special.
4. But don't oversell. On the other hand, don't promise more than you can deliver, and whatever you do, don't bend the truth — it'll snap in half at the worst possible moment.
5. Broaden your parameters. Keep your matching criteria as open as you can. Avoid the pitfalls of thinking too narrowly about age (whether north or south of your own), height, body type, race, geographic distance and so on. Be open to as many possibilities as you can — someone might just take you by surprise.
6. Get into specifics. You never know what will strike a chord with someone, so avoid generalizations like "enjoy relaxing and hanging out with friends" (after all, who doesn't enjoy that?). By voicing your enthusiasm for, say, foreign films, spicy food or snowboarding, you can create a spark of interest in a kindred spirit.
7. Check your spelling and grammar. Really, do you want someone to pass you by on the grounds that you don't sound smart enough?
8. Be upbeat. No one is attracted to negativity. If you sound like a fun, engaging person, you'll draw more interest. Keep it positive and get the results you want.
Randy B. Hecht is a New York-based writer and editor who often covers relationship issues.
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